Hold me and see me
In the undying empathy .
I've been living for the shadow of who I should be.
Light up the fuse in me.
Which is otherwise forgotten .
Show me what it feels like to have happiness in my life.
Bring my world to life,
and keep the darkness at bay .
You hate me cause I love him more than you.
But he'll always choose you.
"I find that very hard to believe"
Too bad it was true.
I guess that should tell me all about you .
"Do you remember the day
Your momma said No
When you begged her for stuff in the store.
Do you remember how it felt to look in her eyes ,and know that she meant every word.
Do you remember when you made up your mind
She was the worst person you'd met.
She was just paving your way for pain , my friend
Just paving the way for the pain.
Do you remember the day
Your daddy hit you too hard.
Until you thought you'd break in two.
Do you remember how it felt look in his eyes and know that he meant to cause you pain .
Do you remember when you made up your mind
He was the worst person you'd met.
He was just paving your way for pain , my friend
Just paving the way for the pain.
Do you remember the day
He broke your heart in two.
and laughed as you went through the pain .
Do you remember how it felt when you knew it was good-bye.
Do you remember when you made up your mind
you didn't want to let him go.
Aren't you glad they paved a way for the pain now.
Aren't you glad they paved for your pain."
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Beware the monster butterflies !!!!!!!
My brother wrote as his biology homework
How do penguins defend themselves?
They eat monster butterflies that only exist in the north and south poles, then they use the monster butterfly chemicals and turn the penguins into monsters, and then they fight till the death.
and he couldn't see what was wrong with it.
Silly boy ! and he's the hope for the future . God help us !!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mum dropped her phone in the sink in work and it's not working.
She is not pleased . Mostly cause I always drop mine and it's always worked afterward .Even if I had to glue it !!!!
I managed to choke in my chemistry test. I must have look like an idiot to be fair .
I almost choked again in my math test. The only reason I didn't was cause I held my breath for a minute then hyperventilated for a while. I'm not sure which was worse. But at least in math no-one could hear me .
Maybe I'm allergic to tests.
It would explain a lot
Also I may have spent a some of my math test googling
Mr Nom in a cowboy hat
for Bronwen . Just cause she didn't know who he was !!!!!!!!!!
Although I get better Internet on my phone in math than I do in my home
So I think god wants me to google stuff rather than finish my math work.
Anyway I feel like quoting so ye ..........
Bye bye
XXXXXXXXXX
My Chemical Romance - The End
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out first-hand what it's like to me.
Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest
Forgetting all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Monday, 24 May 2010
House of happiness quote
When trouble comes your soul to try
You love the friend who just "stands by."
Perhaps there's nothing he can do--
The thing is strictly up to you;
For there are troubles all your own,
And paths the soul must tread alone;
Times when love cannot smooth the road
Nor friendship lift the heavy load,
but just to know you have a friend
Who will "stand by" until the end,
Whose sympathy through all endures,
Whose warm handclasps is always yours ---
It helps, some way to pull you through,
Although there's nothing he can do,
And so with fervent heart you cry:
"God bless the friend who just 'stands by'!"
Mrs. Bertye Y Williams, House of Happiness
You love the friend who just "stands by."
Perhaps there's nothing he can do--
The thing is strictly up to you;
For there are troubles all your own,
And paths the soul must tread alone;
Times when love cannot smooth the road
Nor friendship lift the heavy load,
but just to know you have a friend
Who will "stand by" until the end,
Whose sympathy through all endures,
Whose warm handclasps is always yours ---
It helps, some way to pull you through,
Although there's nothing he can do,
And so with fervent heart you cry:
"God bless the friend who just 'stands by'!"
Mrs. Bertye Y Williams, House of Happiness
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Now I'm over my over reaction last time I bloged and had time to think. And I've done alot.
I know I haven't really done the right thing by anyone In any aspect of my life.
So yes I need to change some stuff and sort some stuff out.
That and study.
So moving on from that
I had a nice day yesterday till the very end of it.
I went to see The sound of music. It was really good.
Wish I could sing like that !!!!
And today I went to some old mans party which should have been on Friday. But he was too tired so they changed it to Sunday insted.
It must be sad to be to tired to have your own party.
I hope I don't ever get that old. It can't be that great to sit in a chair and watch people have fun at your party when you really aren't.
And to top that the poor man couldn't even eat his own cake !!!
Why did they even get him a cake if he couldn't eat it or blow the candles out?
Anyway I need to go study .
Bye-bye
Children become, while little, our delights,
When they grow bigger, they begin to fright's.
Their sinful Nature prompts them to rebel,
And to delight in Paths that lead to Hell.
— John Bunyan, "Book for Boys and Girls" (1686)
I know I haven't really done the right thing by anyone In any aspect of my life.
So yes I need to change some stuff and sort some stuff out.
That and study.
So moving on from that
I had a nice day yesterday till the very end of it.
I went to see The sound of music. It was really good.
Wish I could sing like that !!!!
And today I went to some old mans party which should have been on Friday. But he was too tired so they changed it to Sunday insted.
It must be sad to be to tired to have your own party.
I hope I don't ever get that old. It can't be that great to sit in a chair and watch people have fun at your party when you really aren't.
And to top that the poor man couldn't even eat his own cake !!!
Why did they even get him a cake if he couldn't eat it or blow the candles out?
Anyway I need to go study .
Bye-bye
Children become, while little, our delights,
When they grow bigger, they begin to fright's.
Their sinful Nature prompts them to rebel,
And to delight in Paths that lead to Hell.
— John Bunyan, "Book for Boys and Girls" (1686)
Friday, 21 May 2010
One day you'll want to tell me,And then i'll be to late
It was hot to day
Which was rather bad in school cause we had to do work and it was hot.
But it was nice at home cause I could lie outside in the sun and write and listen to music. It was nice
Untill I had to wear my shirt to go see my beaver kids. Then I almost mealted on the path.
I have introduced my beaver kids to the magic of Taylor Swift
Laughs they loved it !!!
Although they trusted me with the keys to the place
So i'm really scared of losing them
anyway good night
ppl
XXX
Which was rather bad in school cause we had to do work and it was hot.
But it was nice at home cause I could lie outside in the sun and write and listen to music. It was nice
Untill I had to wear my shirt to go see my beaver kids. Then I almost mealted on the path.
I have introduced my beaver kids to the magic of Taylor Swift
Laughs they loved it !!!
Although they trusted me with the keys to the place
So i'm really scared of losing them
anyway good night
ppl
XXX
Thursday, 20 May 2010
no one would listen ,' cause no one else cared
Why...........
Just really why .
Do people do the stuff that they do.
Or at least why do they thing I'm going to judge them on it.
Sadly we all do things we regret. I've done lots I still do.
So why do people think I will judge them when they could say so much more.
Stuff they all ready know and stuff they don't.
So anyway
Now I have to go and try and sort my clothes for tomoz.
I don't know what I'm going to wear
Stupid nice weather. I have no sun clothes.
Well none that I'm going to wear in public.
But on another note At least I've got the music for my Beaver kids sorted tomoz
lol
Anyway goodnight ppl
XXXXXX
Just really why .
Do people do the stuff that they do.
Or at least why do they thing I'm going to judge them on it.
Sadly we all do things we regret. I've done lots I still do.
So why do people think I will judge them when they could say so much more.
Stuff they all ready know and stuff they don't.
So anyway
Now I have to go and try and sort my clothes for tomoz.
I don't know what I'm going to wear
Stupid nice weather. I have no sun clothes.
Well none that I'm going to wear in public.
But on another note At least I've got the music for my Beaver kids sorted tomoz
lol
Anyway goodnight ppl
XXXXXX
Monday, 17 May 2010
I said I loved you
I did from the start
Gave you what was mine
including my heart
How I wish I'd learn from the past
I wish I'd known how that you'd break my heart
Do you remember the day when you said you were mine
Do you remember when you were my valentine
revenge is a monster deep in my heart
It told me to hurt you and tear you apart
I needed to hurt you ,I needed you to feel
If I made you cry it would make it real
I hurt you with words
I made you feel my pain
I did it all for my own personal gain.
How I wish I could take it all back
I wish I'd have known that you'd break my heart
Do you remember the day when you said you were mine
Do you remember when you were my valentine
revenge is a monster deep in my heart
It told me to hurt you and tear you apart
I saw you lying there upon the floor
The your blood fell like my tears to the floor
I looked into your eyes I could see feel your pain
I knew in my heart what I had done.
How I wish I could take it all back
I wish I'd have known that I could rip out your heart
Revenge is the monster within my heart
It told me to hurt you and tear you apart
Do you remember the day when you said you were mine
Do you remember when you were my valentine
Do you remember the day when you held me so tight
Do you remember when I was the love of your life
Revenge is the monster that took you away
It brought me where I am today
Do you remember the day you were mine
Do you remember when I was your valentine
Do you remember the day when I tore you apart
Do you remember the day that I ended your life
I did from the start
Gave you what was mine
including my heart
How I wish I'd learn from the past
I wish I'd known how that you'd break my heart
Do you remember the day when you said you were mine
Do you remember when you were my valentine
revenge is a monster deep in my heart
It told me to hurt you and tear you apart
I needed to hurt you ,I needed you to feel
If I made you cry it would make it real
I hurt you with words
I made you feel my pain
I did it all for my own personal gain.
How I wish I could take it all back
I wish I'd have known that you'd break my heart
Do you remember the day when you said you were mine
Do you remember when you were my valentine
revenge is a monster deep in my heart
It told me to hurt you and tear you apart
I saw you lying there upon the floor
The your blood fell like my tears to the floor
I looked into your eyes I could see feel your pain
I knew in my heart what I had done.
How I wish I could take it all back
I wish I'd have known that I could rip out your heart
Revenge is the monster within my heart
It told me to hurt you and tear you apart
Do you remember the day when you said you were mine
Do you remember when you were my valentine
Do you remember the day when you held me so tight
Do you remember when I was the love of your life
Revenge is the monster that took you away
It brought me where I am today
Do you remember the day you were mine
Do you remember when I was your valentine
Do you remember the day when I tore you apart
Do you remember the day that I ended your life
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone .
Laughs
I got the joy of babysitting today.
Fun NOT at least I got payed for it.
I'm not sure if it's worth it though. Having a 6 year old try and run me over is not a great way to spend a Saturday.
And I have to write a poem or a song on cowboys and indians.
I don't really know where to start.
And I've got to go through my nanna's CD's tomorrow to find some good country western music because the stuff we had on last night was rubbish.
So anyway I am bored now So yes ......
Goodnight ppl
Mumford and sons
Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep little lion man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rape yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Tremble for yourself, my man,
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble little lion man,
You'll never settle any of your score
Your grace is wasted in your face,
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
I got the joy of babysitting today.
Fun NOT at least I got payed for it.
I'm not sure if it's worth it though. Having a 6 year old try and run me over is not a great way to spend a Saturday.
And I have to write a poem or a song on cowboys and indians.
I don't really know where to start.
And I've got to go through my nanna's CD's tomorrow to find some good country western music because the stuff we had on last night was rubbish.
So anyway I am bored now So yes ......
Goodnight ppl
Mumford and sons
Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep little lion man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rape yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Tremble for yourself, my man,
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble little lion man,
You'll never settle any of your score
Your grace is wasted in your face,
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Friday, 14 May 2010
I'm going to kill someone.
Violent but true !
It's silly really cause the person I'm really annoyed at is the one person I can't kill cause their not here.
I could always go to their house and find them.
But that would be really awkward and I'd look like a complete fool.
Not that I don't already look like a fool but anyway.
Also my drama is officially rubbish.
What sort of subject is physical theater anyway.
I guess it's okay if you enjoy lying on the floor pretending to be a table.
But according to the drama teacher it's great.
So far my drama is a girl is getting bullied by two kids and she has a really hard time.
And that's it .
Yes I know it's really bad
If anyone has any ideas I'd be happy to listen not to complicated though cause me group don't seem to like anything to hard.
Just something else to add to my life I guess.
Anyway
Hope you all have a good weekend
XXXXXXX
Violent but true !
It's silly really cause the person I'm really annoyed at is the one person I can't kill cause their not here.
I could always go to their house and find them.
But that would be really awkward and I'd look like a complete fool.
Not that I don't already look like a fool but anyway.
Also my drama is officially rubbish.
What sort of subject is physical theater anyway.
I guess it's okay if you enjoy lying on the floor pretending to be a table.
But according to the drama teacher it's great.
So far my drama is a girl is getting bullied by two kids and she has a really hard time.
And that's it .
Yes I know it's really bad
If anyone has any ideas I'd be happy to listen not to complicated though cause me group don't seem to like anything to hard.
Just something else to add to my life I guess.
Anyway
Hope you all have a good weekend
XXXXXXX
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
You'll always be the one who said goodnight .
Hey
not much to blog about other than I may kill my dad very soon.
And I was just ill which is just really crap to be fair .
Also she thinks i'm mad and pathetic .
Which may be true to the outside world but it's not to me.
To me it's real . Thats why I hate it so much cause it feels real even though it's not .
Stupid life !
So............
Anyway
Quotes I guess
Winged immortal
My spirit, My light
Your the only one who can make it right.
Your voice is my pleasure.
Your touch is my life.
The only one I can trust
The one I cannot tell
My winged immortal you know me so well
Let's not discuss it.
Just fall into me
Just stay close and set yourself free.
Cry into me
Hold on to me
Let me be to you
What you always are to me.
{Someone was playing this in music and whoever it was they were really good. You don't have to read this I just felt like putting it on here it's just some of the song felt appropriate}
Bonnie Tyler / Westlife
Total Eclipse Of The Heart
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in you eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart.
Anyway good bye
love you all
XXX
not much to blog about other than I may kill my dad very soon.
And I was just ill which is just really crap to be fair .
Also she thinks i'm mad and pathetic .
Which may be true to the outside world but it's not to me.
To me it's real . Thats why I hate it so much cause it feels real even though it's not .
Stupid life !
So............
Anyway
Quotes I guess
Winged immortal
My spirit, My light
Your the only one who can make it right.
Your voice is my pleasure.
Your touch is my life.
The only one I can trust
The one I cannot tell
My winged immortal you know me so well
Let's not discuss it.
Just fall into me
Just stay close and set yourself free.
Cry into me
Hold on to me
Let me be to you
What you always are to me.
{Someone was playing this in music and whoever it was they were really good. You don't have to read this I just felt like putting it on here it's just some of the song felt appropriate}
Bonnie Tyler / Westlife
Total Eclipse Of The Heart
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in you eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart.
Anyway good bye
love you all
XXX
Sunday, 9 May 2010
I know what you need now , and it's not me
I can't hide the pain though , it's not me
I did it all for you
But you'll never see ,cause it's not me
It's never me .
I found out lots of stuff bout myself this weekend
And I didn't want to know it .
I still don't want to know .
I'm sorry to you all .
You may not know why but I am
I need something to take my mind off it all.
Good night anyway .
XXX
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all
It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
I can't hide the pain though , it's not me
I did it all for you
But you'll never see ,cause it's not me
It's never me .
I found out lots of stuff bout myself this weekend
And I didn't want to know it .
I still don't want to know .
I'm sorry to you all .
You may not know why but I am
I need something to take my mind off it all.
Good night anyway .
XXX
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all
It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Hey hope you all had a good day .
Today im going to moan cause I feel like it.
and this blog will sound rather bad but there we go.
Sometimes I don't know why I bother
I mean I can tell someone I care and I can promise that I'd do anything for them
But in the end they just carry on like I didn't say anything like I'm invisible like I didn't say anything at all.
Whats the point! I might as well not say anything and let them get on with it . Then may be ppl will start telling me things and I won't have to guess what ppl are thinking .And I won't have to go to ppl homes all the time because to make sure their okay.
All I seem to do now is worry about ppl .
Cry for ppl , I cry every night for ppl because I care what happens to them and what they don't tell me .It just hurts sometimes to know that I don't know anything about anybody I care about.
Sometimes I feel like Tristan [ he's from a book ]
I just want to take the pain away from them . I want to comfort them and make it all okay .
But I can't because they either don't want to let me in or they don't give a damn.
Or they think I talk a load of bull cause they Know about all the stupid stuff I've done in the past and think that therefore my opinion means nothing .
Personally I think it mean I know what im talking about .
Also to top off my life my nanna's drinking again .
Not that anybody believes me because she now knows how to hide it better .
and because they think I'm out for revenge.
Stupid family I wouldn't mind but I was right last time.
and what did I get for my troubles back then more pain.
Anyway thats the end of my post
bye bye then
XXX
Today im going to moan cause I feel like it.
and this blog will sound rather bad but there we go.
Sometimes I don't know why I bother
I mean I can tell someone I care and I can promise that I'd do anything for them
But in the end they just carry on like I didn't say anything like I'm invisible like I didn't say anything at all.
Whats the point! I might as well not say anything and let them get on with it . Then may be ppl will start telling me things and I won't have to guess what ppl are thinking .And I won't have to go to ppl homes all the time because to make sure their okay.
All I seem to do now is worry about ppl .
Cry for ppl , I cry every night for ppl because I care what happens to them and what they don't tell me .It just hurts sometimes to know that I don't know anything about anybody I care about.
Sometimes I feel like Tristan [ he's from a book ]
I just want to take the pain away from them . I want to comfort them and make it all okay .
But I can't because they either don't want to let me in or they don't give a damn.
Or they think I talk a load of bull cause they Know about all the stupid stuff I've done in the past and think that therefore my opinion means nothing .
Personally I think it mean I know what im talking about .
Also to top off my life my nanna's drinking again .
Not that anybody believes me because she now knows how to hide it better .
and because they think I'm out for revenge.
Stupid family I wouldn't mind but I was right last time.
and what did I get for my troubles back then more pain.
Anyway thats the end of my post
bye bye then
XXX
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