As I cry at things that don't make sense

Coal is hot , the knife is sharp
This is my very favourite part !

The fog shall cover my footsteps
In time you'll forget their there .
The empty space may haunt you now
But one day someone will sit on my chair .
My scent shall linger gently
But the wind will blow it away .
You may hate me now for leaving you
But later you'll see
I only did it
Cause I cared

Thinking

You had all you needed
But you still took whats mine.
You left me with no one
So are you surprised
When I see you with them
I die a little more inside.

Disappointed yes surprised no

I am a
Selfish
Bitter
jealous
hypocrite
I am me .

Laughs Cerys still makes me giggle as does my math teacher
According to i still don't care .
If only she knew !
Also Cerys basically told the math class i was an alcoholic
Cause she thought my water tasted of vodka .

Talking of vodka my nannas at my house .
lol.

Well quote time .

He once was a prince .
With the world in his hand .
Untill the world fought back with a fist .
The kings took his throne and the queens laughed in scorn
But he doesn't need his material things
Nor the silly pedantic peoples scorn
Cause he now has someone worth living for
And that someone is you .

Does not contain nuts !

Well I dont have much to blog about as I have nothing realy to say .
My math teacher makes me laugh .
" Do you not care " Lol i only she knew I was tempted to show her .
But I didnt .
I don't need that going around the staff room .
Laughs at Cerys
Laughs at my sad sad life .
Laughs at myself .


And no I don't contain nuts and Im happy not to .

Loves you all
Only one more day pf svhool
WHOO!!
Love you all .

Quotes from Hansel and Gretel .

Run away children
Hide in your dreams
Things in the flesh
Aren't quite what they seem !

Gdnight

Hannah and whoever else reads this

Im sorry I never meant to hurt you .
You no I would never have done it if i knew what it did to you.
Im so sorry I run and maybe your right
You can't run from your problems .
But some times I have to run cause it's easier than fighting it .
I am so sorry I cant tell you all that you want to know
And maybe one day when I stop running I will tell you .
I am so sorry im mad but i can't really help it .
Again im so sorry
love you
XXX

Monday !

And this is the part were I just disappear.
Cause the damage is already done .
No need to re-read the story again
Cause the battle shall never be won .
Nothing you can say can erase it and nothing can undo whats been done
Cause now when I see you smiling I no that im not the one .

And this is the part were I just disappear
cause everything you said was a lie
So think of this as my only revenge .
You'll never get to say good bye .


Well thats it love you all
XX

Just waiting for sense to come along

Well it was a very long weekend for me . And i have cried many a tear and i really just feel like crap . But hey ho it's almost the holidays and we only have 4 days in school this week anyway.
Well cba adding anything else to this blog i don't feel like it . Then again i don't feel like doing much of anything anymore .
Have a good night
XXXX

I shall leave you with this

ROBBIE WILLIAMS- MORNING SUN

It all seems so familiar
Like they've been sent to kill'ya

Well bye bye again

Boyzone - Gave it all away !

I … I will learn to live before I die
will learn to love and learn to try
not to give it all away (give it all away)
She … she may be
the one that’s meant for me
or for the man that I used to be (used to be)
til’ I gave it all away (gave it all away x2)

[Chorus]
why hy hy I lay my heart down on the floor
I showed you love, you wanted more re re
but I gave it all away (cry ry ry ry cry ry ry ry)

you taught me to see the better truth
about yourself but about me too (about me too)
I was stupid over you
what could I do

[Chorus]
why hy hy I lay my heart down on the floor
I showed you love, you wanted more re re
but I gave it all away (cry ry ry ry cry ry ry ry)

some people wait a lifetime for a chance like this
I’ve waited enough
baby, no, I won’t let you go
I’m sick of tears and being fierce

(I won’t let go of you, I won’t let go of you, of you, of youx2)

[Chorus]
why hy hy I lay my heart down on the floor
I showed you love, you wanted more re re
but I gave it all away (cry ry ry ry cry ry ry ry)

there’s nothing left to take (cry ry ry ry cry ry ry ry ry)

I gave it all away

This song made me cry the first time i heard it .
LOL

realizing what i already knew

If a person decides change and others follow
Does that make that person guilty ?
I believe not because everybody has a choice .
and yet today was the day i questioned what i had and today as the day that realized what i already knew and although it was rubbish i know now that somethings are inevitable no matter how much i dont want to know . It seems i cant get away from it or pretend its not there nor can it go away .

bye bye love you all
XX

cold of heart light of life

If the system feels bad
Is it the system that needs to change
or is it me that should give the system a chance
In the hope that I can find a why to make it work for me

Or should i just give up on the system that kills me slowly but also makes me happy and go and find a system that may not make me as happy but at last it wont hurt me ?

mmmmm
So guess what im human
I get jealous when I see you with him .
And I cry when life gets tough
I get angry at the smallest thing
and the only thing that makes me feel a part of everyone else is the sight of my own blood .

Well im done now bye-bye

insert name here

Okay so
MY weekend
Well I woke up on Saturday and really didn't want to get out of bed which to me usually means it's going to be a crap day .
I got to go to town with my nanna !
First she managed to miss the bus .
When we got on the next one it was full of pricks from school .
Then we met my mum and brother and ate out for mothers day .
I got home and did nothing of any intrest

Sunday I did what I always do on mothers day .
And homework .
Well thats it really I have nothing to add to that .


ROBBIE WILLIAMS - Supreme.
{ cause it reminds me of what me and hannah where talking about in London}

Oh it seemed forever stopped today
All the lonely hearts in London
Caught a plane and flew away
And all the best women are married
All the handsome men are gay
You feel deprived

Yeah are you questioning your size?
Is there a tumour in your humour,
Are there bags under your eyes?
Do you leave dents where you sit,
Are you getting on a bit?
Will you survive
You must survive

When there's no love in town
This new century keeps bringing you down
All the places you have been
Trying to find a love supreme
A love supreme

Oh what are you really looking for?
Another partner in your life to
abuse and to adore?
Is it lovey dovey stuff,
Do you need a bit of rough?
Get on your knees

Yeah turn down the love songs that you hear
'Cause you can't avoid the sentiment
That echoes in your ear
Saying love will stop the pain
Saying love will kill the fear
Do you believe
You must believe

Well hope you had a good weekend .
XX

Eyes are simply windows into the soul

Well today I went to school !
And I really need sleep .
I am going to pass out soon .
Today was really sad for me .
I was feeling a bit wired in the cornel to day . Dafydd helped me though . So thanks for that !
Hannah I know you meant well I really do . But I still disagree cause I still believe im right . It doesn't matter how many times you hit me and tell me your right and give me so many reasons as to why I still believe I am right .
You know i love you though !
One of my Beaver kids almost made me cry .
He was so sweet and it was so sad and all I could do was use my own personal experience to help him .
I think hes okay now . I hope he is anyway .

Well I shall go and enjoy my crap life
love you all
Goodnight
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Im back !!!

Im back from London . All in one piece .
It wasfun although I missed you all
The first thing my dad said when he saw me was
Oh your back then . I ate your tea
Lol . only my dad .
So now im having Starburst for tea cause I cant be bothred making anything for myself .
Random Quotes .

Semisonic-Secret smile { I heard it on the bus to london and loved it }

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me

So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I'm losing, I'm bluesing
But you can save me from madness

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me

So save me, I'm waiting
I'm needing, hear me pleading
And soothe me, improve me
I'm grieving, I'm barely believing now, now

When you are flying around and around the world
And I'm lying alonely
I know there's something sacred and free reserved
And received by me only

Michael Buble- Lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

Well im going to have my tea now
See you soon
XX

Im going to London !!

Im going to London !
To buy a heat magazine !
Whooo!
I shall miss you all .
I just lied to my dad and said I had Geography homwork .lolz
Not much to say really
My great nanna had me making Scones for hours cause the minister was going to visit .

And I had the best laugh ever in Tae Kwon Do all the sluts were flirting with Darren
Darren meanwhile was busy flirting with our Tae Kwon Do teacher .
Our teacher didnt know what to do with himself .
Funny !!!!

See you on friday
love you all !!!!

I is back !!!

Hey I'm back if you didn't know i had gone .
3 hours on a train there and 4 hours back . UGH !

I would just like to say when I die I would like whoever comes to my funeral I would like them to wear normal casual clothes like you'd wear to go to town .
On the bright side I got to talk with my mum for a while on the way there . Which was fun cause she was happy and we could talk without my dad .
And I got to go shopping at a big book shop and a big game shop and a big Currys shop and i got to go to the castle which was really fun .
Yes im sad !
Then again the first thing my dad said when I got back was
Im hungary .
You'd swear to god he cant feed himself .

And now I am at home doing my drama homework . Later i shall do my welsh coursework which is rather pointless anyway cause she has more or less written out a total diffrent diary for me . And then i shall start to pack cause im to go to London .
Hope you all had a great weekend !
XXXXXX
I shall leave you with some lyrics which are at the moment relevent to me for what ever reason i shall let you guess !
Paramore - We are broken
I am outside
and I've been waiting for the sun
with my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong.
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize .
Tell me why we live like this .

Keep me safe inside
your arms like towers
Tower over me

Paramore -I caught myself
Down to you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't no what I

Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself from saying something that I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself
I had to stop myself from saying something that I should have never thought of you
of you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No I don't know what I want

So bye-bye ppl .
Love you
XXXX

meh

Its funny how
We can search our minds
and rack our brains
for the answer
And yet when we find it we wonder
Did we really want to know ?

I am really depressing

Hey
Well today started off rather nice and of course i thought it was going to be a good day .
Sadly as with the rest of my life i was wrong .
I feel like a prick if im honest . I mean omg !
And then to top it all off my dad destroyed my media work so now i have none .
I am gutted cause it took me ages and i have no more time to finish it so now the media teachers going to have a go at me for not having any work .
And then it occurred to me I am really depressing i dont even no why u all put up with me .
And i cant sen to stop either . ugh .
So any way hopfully i shall be happier tomoz .
have a good night

Note: to my dad .

Yes I know you read my stuff get over it I have .
I would just like to point out I dont care what you say or think and please try at least to keep your opinion to yourself .
No matter what you tell me you can not change how I feel .
End of
.

Cemeg = Fail

I had a cemeg test today .
And I believe i have failed big time .
On the bright side my mum wont no till parents evening so i have time to leave the country . HAHA!!
Also after about half a box of ice cream later my brain stopped melting from over use . God help me when i get to exams .
Also i got a blog before Dafydd which is like the best think ever for me .
Please don't take that away from me Dafydd i dont care if ur right .
I am going to go do welsh now . UGH
lifes a bitch .
Bye-bye ppl
have a nice night