Running to a standstill

So much for my happy ending-Avril Lavigne

2012-02-03T11:23:00.000-08:00

My Happy Ending

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done.

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Collage blogging, oh the fun

2012-01-10T03:55:00.000-08:00

Yes I have better things to do, no I will not do them.
Okay so I am bloging from collage at the now ripe old age of 17 lol
And I have exams and coursework and my brain is meaaaaalting (wicked witch scream)
I had psychology. and I pray it's gone okay but we shall see and I have biology tomorrow oh the joys of life.
On a brighter note though my English coursework is printed..... pity it was due in yesterday. I only have one to go. ~~due today~~
This is a free lesson and I have one later so I am having a break from the brain pain.
Driving lessons are sooooooooooon so for god sake stay off the roads people of Wales.
Yale is going swimmingly I have made some great new friends and have kept some amazing old ones. Being the student rep has actually become really fun, (rather than the ugh talking to people doing it cause no-one else will job I thought it would be) I am enjoying having a class and a teacher that think I know what I'm talking about.
My not so little brother is choosing his options soon and is going to the options evening tonight ~~and dragging my mum along.~~
and more importantly I am still happily in lobe. * silly face followed by giggling and a gagging on ones own sentiment gesture*
Life's good and life's bad but whatever you do just keeeeeeeeeep dancing .
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Blogging from yale oh the joy

2011-11-10T01:41:00.000-08:00

So yes im here blogging from collage,
not that I don't have anything better to do I just cba doing it all.
I think personally that I have payed my dues by going to the gym yesterday, never again shall I do 99 sit ups. This is why I need a spotter *grrz sofiah* cause otherwise I over-do it in the endorphin rush and end up in pain the next morning.
So yes I have biology next oh the joys then English lit which is better really.
So anyway I should get some work done or at least continue raveing to the new YOU ME AT SIX ALBUM !!!!! XD
Have a good one, I may blog again tonight we shall see
xxxxxxxx

back again I see to drown in the sea

2011-07-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

Hey there, thought I'd pay old blogger a visit and blog what has actually been going on.

Okay my nanna passed away, inbetween my last two posts, and I'm sure she will be disgrunteled at not being mentioned before now.

Then I got braces on my top teeth, which I would of blogged about ealier but at the time my laptop wasnt working so i forgot.

Next my dog died, well was put to rest anyway, cause they couldn't make her better anymore bless her.

But all this was awhile back I just didnt feel like bloging it.

Okay on with the blog, we've got a dog staying with us, just for a week cause its owner was going on holiday and couldn't find anyone to look after her. She's rather an ugly dog bless her and she is called Bella

Also we are painting my room , well my mum is as I blog, I'm not obv. It's going to be light blue

Anyway thats it

Till next time

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

scream and they won't hear you.

2011-07-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

Well this was going to be a blog about how stressed and pissed off i was.
But I've just had good news so the rest of the world can suck it.
=D
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I feel deprived.....

2011-06-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

No ones blogged ... what am I supposed to read if no-one's blogged today.
Not that I can talk but , but still, if you ain't gonna be online to talk to me, at least leave me a blog to read.

Anyway, I've started voluntary work at the same school I went into for work experience. It was fun, they remembered me and stuff. So I have been cutting out and gluing and laminating all day.
And I played in the sand
=)
Good fun
XXXXXX

As promised

2011-06-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well I promised but I don't know where to start.
umm....
exams, they are going okay...
right hold on I'm getting back into blogging mode, if there is such a thing.
I had a really long epic convo with Bethan on the friday before half term ( as if to prove i haven't blogged for awhile) it was good, its nice to talk to someone who doesn't make comments that aren't relevant and who ha known you for a while and to get her side of stuff too.
umm... what else have i done... other than sat in trees, and spent a stupid amount of time in the library, I have found a good book there though.
Speaking of good Books The Caster Chronicles which I have been reading, are epic. Well worth a look.
I spoke to Jam last night as well, which was also good and funny.
My dad has a purple cake ribbon on his head.... lol
Oh yeah!! my dad got hit on by a guy while he was out drinking last week. LOL!
when my mum told us he was like GRrrrr!
It was brothers birthday on Sunday.... he made us go to the beach...it was cold.
I built a big sand castle though and it lasted a while too, even though my dad said my sea defenses were crap, i must admit i learned something about sea defense ....possibly from Geography *scary thought*
I had my ice cream too !! nomnomnom
ummm yeah...i think that's it...
I only have 4 more exams!
=)
good day ( has a secret giggle to myself)

I may but some songs up either later or tomorrow, i think so...yeah i will do tomorrow.
okay anyway.
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If you want me to feel then come slap me down

2011-06-06T13:21:00.000-07:00

Hey there
I ain't blogged in awhile and I was gonna make a big one for tonight but then I got stuck in book land.
But I don't have an exam tomorrow or Wednesday so I will make a nice big blog tomorrow.
anyway, night for now
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Drink it up take it in, then I shall tell you where my story begins.

2011-05-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

Hear that little heart beating in lonely fools corner. That little hearts beating for the very first time. bang bang bang.
Don't let it fall behind.

So yeah... prom last night it was cool I have blisters.
I've have Tears don't fall in my head all day.
I may put some pictures up at some point.
and then there's leaving day tomorrow, I have nothing to go as so I will jut go like I'd go to school normally.

I'm bored, nobody who is online will talk to me.
and yet I won't go revise.
...
umm....
so something interesting.
I got nothing.
oh dear...
ummm...
stuff it i will end it here.

night.

Stop with the letters hold the calls
I won't break, If you don't fall.

Come on and show me what I'm living for.
I'd die for you, not just anyone.
I love your deep deep eyes.
Look at me and take me to wonderland.

A girl once told me I was off my head, she's dead now and who's to blame.
Mother shake your head in shame.

Come on and show me what I'm living for.

I'd die for you, not just anyone.
I love your deep deep eyes.
Look at me and take me to wonderland.

Let me scream from the rooftops
I love you.
Let me scream
I can't leave you, even if I tried.

(part of ) Wonderland
I have no clue who sings it,

2011-05-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight i will just pray you keep my soul safe, cause everyone wants to break it down and take it all away from me. Protect me my love, from all these people in this world cause if they break me i don't think that bit of tape's gonna hold me together again

Drama is done!
Well the acting part anyway.
Also my shoes have came, which means i am already for prom.
Yay!
other than that i can't think of anything else to say.
Oh well
ciao
XXXXXXX

I'd be lethal if only I could spell.

2011-04-28T11:49:00.000-07:00

lol
my nanna said that as she was trying to text

firstly, Hannah I'm sorry i didn't blog that stuff but i ain't been online decently for a while.
either way,
The ipod shuffle song thingy -me -bob.

1. Love the way you lie - eminem and rihanna
I like this song and the video. I know all the words to this, much to my mums shock in the car when it came on the radio. I don't really have a memory to go with it, well not a good one anyway.

2. Animal - Neon trees.
This song always reminds me of computer lessons when we did the radio recording thing and Hannahs over cheesy voice as she said song titles.

3.Paramore- Misery Business
I love this song it's just lol. Reminds me of so may things, of the paramore concert and of many things after it. *raves*

4.You found me- Kelly Clarkson
Kelly Clarkson always makes me think of those dodgy American chick flick films. This song being when the guy and the girl kiss at the end, and are together against all the odds in the film. But also it makes me smile. Becasue there is someone out there for everyone, whether you have them now, or you will find them later. But either way they will love you regardless, and you will love them as well.

5. Because of you- Kelly Clarkson
Well we just had her. But oh well. Guess this is one that reminds me I can't escape my past. But you can learn from it, and work on it and use it to your advantage as you work through life.

6. California Gurls- Katy Perry and Snoop Dogg
Well I now have a problem listening to this song thanks to Laura and that fateful Media lesson.
*shudders*
The part when jelly teddy swears is kindof cool.
Im gonna have to skip this i think. sorry.

7. Hummingbird heartbeat- Katy Perry.
This song on the other hand as the opposite effect on me.
I love this one. Makes me smile, and feel like dancing.
It reminds me of great things.

8. Swing life away- Rise Against
I like this one. Money ain't everything. and it reminds me of happy childhood days.

9. Talking to the moon- Bruno Mars
Reminds me of walking home at night when it's dark and the moon is full. and it's nice a quite and calm with a small ust of cool wind.

and
10. Tell me everything- Just surrender
Well. This song as odd as it seems. makes me feel loved. and makes me wont to protect the ones i love. It also brings a silly smile to my face.

anyway im done blaging.
Im going on holiday just for a few days in the caravan.
dont worry i will read blogger on my phone.
See you all later

Tell me everything will be alright

Close your eyes and dream of me tonight
Tell me that you won't just fade away
Cross my heart and hope to die tonight I'll dream my pain away

XXXXXXXXX

Posting

2011-04-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

Rawr!
I don't have that much to post.
Sunday was nice if a little cold.
I've spent today revising. My chemistry took forever and I don't think i did number 8 right. It ain't fair to put math in chemistry. It annoying enough in maths.
I will have to go over that a lot more in the hope something sticks.
Anyway...
I'm gonna do more revision tomorrow than meet up with Hannah and go practice some drama.
I'm getting better at it. I still get a little stuck in places at the end. But to be fair on me this is the longest thing I have ever had to learn so I ain't doing that bad . Although apparently my accent when I speak welsh is funny.
grrr!
Anyway It's just me and my mum tonight as my dad is in work and my brother is in a sleepover.
well i say just me and my mum but she's gone to a meeting and ain't come back.
anyway night night

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RAWR! like a butterfly

2011-04-10T12:38:00.000-07:00

Grins
It's been a nice day today.
The sun was shining but it wasn't to hot in the shade.
I have a stripe on the side of my ankle. I am a red zebra.
I'm bring sun cream next time though.
I feel happy, I feel special.
and i have fluffy hair.
Giggly grining.

anyway i shall leave you all to your darkening day.
I love you all, in your own special little ways.
and No im not on drugs.

Night night.

( blame laura for the seal thing she used to have it on in her house. and its been stuck in my head since i got home)

Seal-kiss from a rose

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.

You became the light on the dark side of me.
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and,
The light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
...kiss from a rose on the grey.
Ooh,
The more I get of you,
Ooh...................
Stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

There is so much a man can tell you,
..there....................woa...
So much he can say.
there's so much inside.
You remain,
you.......
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.. yeah.
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I've...
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
been.............. kissed from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
...ooh...........the..
Stranger it feels, yeah
stranger it feels, ...yeah.
Now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the grey,
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey,
...I've been.......................I've...
I've been kissed by a rose
...been kissed by a rose on the grey.
I've been kissed by a rose on the grey,
...I've been.......................I've...
...And if I should fall, at all
I've been kissed by a rose
...been kissed by a rose on the grey.

There is so much a man can tell you,
there
So much he can say.
there's so much inside.

You remain
My power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.

But did you know,
That when it snows,
My eyes become large and
the light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.
I've been.............. kissed from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
...ooh...........the..
Stranger it feels, yeah
stranger it feels.
Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
I've..........been kissed from a rose on the grey.
Ooh, the more I get of you
...ooh...........the..
Stranger it feels, yeah
stranger it feels. ...yeah.

Now that your rose is in bloom,
A light hits the gloom on the grey.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2011-04-07T12:41:00.000-07:00

If you live in Wrexham only have a mouth injuary inbetween 5 and 9 on Monday, Tuesday,Thursday or Friday because thats the only time the Maelor are any good at fixing you. Otherwise you would most likely be better doing it yourself cause they look at you like your an alien.
I ended up going to the normal dentist and having them put a stich in it.
Anyway... Other than the Maelor being silly.
I got to say I am really excited for Sunday!!!! =D
Like really really.
tehehehe epic giggly face
ciao

2011-04-05T13:32:00.000-07:00

My welsh oral exam is gonna sound really stupid.
cause I'm full of cold and when i speak welsh i sound like there is something wrong with me.
and all that together is just wrong on so many levels.
Hopefully i shall sound a lot better by Thursday, or I'm buggered.
anyway
night night

2011-04-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

and suddenly i cant breath.
and taste has no meaning to me.
your taking to long to reply.
but i ain't gonna cry
Till tonight.

mum you worry me and i take it your looking through my blog right now cause of your earlier comment.
But watching tv doesn't mean anything other than..... I watched tv. get over yourself there is nothing wrong with me. It was a tv program. and even if i was a somesort of unfeeling witch. Like it matters. what you or anybody would thing of that. as long as im me then someone , somewhere will love me for that. even if it aint you.

2011-04-03T13:34:00.001-07:00

you know what.
today is just not my day plain and simple.
stuff today, it sucks

Pen mawr = hangover

2011-04-03T13:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

RONAN KEATING -If Tomorrow Never Comes

Thank you magic radio for getting that song stuck in my head since about 3 this afternoon.
and a less sarcastic thank you Glan Clwyd hospital for stiching me up when the idiots at wrexham couldn't.

ciao blogging world

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lots taken

2011-03-28T13:51:00.001-07:00

Somwhow everything in me is aching. Just to hear your gentle voice again.

2011-03-28T13:48:00.000-07:00

Hey monday-wish you were here

Here's my heart in a postcard, darling
Just one step from the edge
Sleep alone and it's so hard, darling
You're next to me in my head

But it's too late, too late to call
Are you out there?
Too late, too much to say

Wish you were here
Wish you well
If you'd only shared this hell
But you leave, as stains are left on me
I wish you, I wish you were here
I wish you, I wish you were here

Guess who..... It's the invisible girl. You don't even know my name. That's okay.

2011-03-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

Rawr
I went to Zumba last night .... even though I didn't really won't to go to start with I had fun in a really uncoordinated way. Laughs I'm hurting now though in really wired places.
I'm sleepy school was just ugh.

I only want what's right, what's best.
Why do seem so much less than the rest of the world.

Yeah you got me screaming.
Yeah you got me leaving
But thats what you want , too see me feeling.
I'm bleeding, but I'm free living.

Rest of the world- Hurts

XXXXXXXX

hey i blogging again

2011-03-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

This reminds me of something .... today really
u don't have to read it.

anyway....

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?

Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

You no even though money helps in life, there is stuff that matters more. A lot more than pride.
I mean if u have a good time does it matter how much it cost. If people love you does it matter that you can't have a new top. If money means that much too you get a job, get 2 jobs get 3 if you really want but is it worth it if you spend your free time working are you happier or are you rich?
Cause they ain't the same thing.
XXX

I miss you I miss you I really wanna kiss you but I can't.....

2011-03-11T12:39:00.000-08:00

Lol It's been stuck in my head all day.
Anyway....
I did my drama prac today.... I murdered it but hey-ho at least it's over now.
Only the script left now and thats it no more acting.
=)

Bullet for my valentine- Waking the demon

Breath for me,
Don't wake me from this slumber.
Stay with me,
Possession taking over

Math tiwtor is coming tomorrow which means I have to wake up at a normal time and not do what I did last time he came which was to wake up half an hour before he was due. Lol!

What If We Could - Blue october

What if we could
Put our lives on
Hold then meet somewhere
inside of the world

I would meet you
Would you meet me?

2, 3, 4...
On a park bench
On a skyscrape
On a mountain
Oh yeah, whatever it takes

I would meet you
Would you meet me?

I'm glad to say that we've met
But I'm sad to say that the circumstances weren't
On our side

So go on
Go on be your own
Go on be your own star

What if we could?
Where would we go?
If it felt right
Would you want me to know

I would meet you
Would you meet me

It's like a last chance
For a first dance
You're a sunrise
Can't somehow exist

I would meet you
Would you meet me

I'm glad to say that we've met
But I'm sad to say that the circumstances weren't
On our side

So go on
Go on be your own
Go on be your own star
A simple star in my eyes
In my eyes

Look in my eyes
Just look in my eyes
My eyes
My eyes!!!

What if we could
Put our lives on
Hold then meet somewhere
inside of the world

I would meet you
Would you meet me?

On a park bench
On a skyscrape
On a mountain

Oh yeah, whatever it takes
I would meet you
Would you meet me?

God I would
God I would
I would meet you
Would you meet me

I would meet you
I would meet you
I would meet you

grrz

2011-03-01T09:33:00.000-08:00

http://swns.com/new-book-claims-jesus-can-cure-homosexuality-211435.html

A small Christian group has provoked a storm of criticism by publishing a book which claims Jesus can ”CURE” homosexuality.

Silly christians ... I don't see why people can't be Christian and be gay.
Yes it says in the bible but it does also say:

James 4:11-12

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Romans 2:1-3

Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

John 8:7

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

So.........

your love is my drug

2011-02-28T12:45:00.000-08:00

Why??
It's been one of those days today me thinks..... You know your day ain't gonna have a great day when the bus that should take 15 minuates takes an hour to get you to school, and as if to make matters worse my ipod died 15 minuates into the journey.
But hey-ho I got to school learned nothing
Then had to go extra early to Beavers..... I did get to walk home in the dark though which I enjoyed even if the hill hates me.
I sang at the top of my voice the whole way down the road so if it rains I did it.

anyway.... random parts of songs... the parts i sang the loudest.

Love story - Taylor Swift

But you were everything to me

I was begging you please don't go and I said

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel

This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes.

Deny thy father and refuse thy name. lol.

Rocket to the moon - On a lonely night.

You said you could fly
But you never need to
Cause with us you never tried too hard
And you never will

On a lonely night you will see
You're everything to me (you got everything)
On a lonely night oh the truth is
Every night is lonely without you
Every night is lonely without you here

I wish I could lie
And just tell you I'm fine
You wouldn't believe me if you tried
If I listen to our song I'll be up all night

On a lonely night you will see
You're everything to me (you got everything)
On a lonely night oh the truth is
Every night is lonely without you
Every night is lonely without you here

It's been forever, but lately it's been hard
Like when we took your parent's car
And drove forever in the dark
I'd give it all away if I could I see you
Once again and have a summer love
Growing close and never go

On a lonely night you will see
You're everything to me (you got everything)
On a lonely night oh the truth is
Every night is lonely without you
Every night is lonely without you here

Anyway good day all.
XXXXXXXXXXXX

2011-02-26T09:38:00.001-08:00

Settled down with a book. Searching bus timetables.
Damn I am in need of a social life.

2011-02-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

Hey there...
I really don't have much to blog about.
Other than I look wired and sound funny too.
you can see a little bit of the chains.... but they are gold.... and look nothing like a bike chain.
I ain't sure whether I'm sad bout that or not...
anyway ... I aint got much too say ummmm.....
i have yogurt for breakfast............. my mum had to mush the lumps out of soup for me...................... I have mash for tea...... I never want to see mash ever again.
All food looks and tastes like someone has chewed it and spat it back up for me.
and and and ...........damn i need to get a life.
I think i may be going insane...........insaner!!

Happiness it hurts

2011-02-14T13:07:00.000-08:00

Rawr
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.

So whats the time mister wolf
time for me to say a prayer before you eat me up.
But at least if you kill me let me have my last breath
Let me tell her that I'm sorry I broke a promise to her and myself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Begw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-10T11:27:00.000-08:00

I had a welsh dream last night it's official school is getting to me.
and media, media sucks I have done almost nothing coursework wise and yet it feels like I've done loads. I think that's mostly cause media is so boring. Today's lesson was alright but I'm not sure of the amount of actual work i got done.

Going home on the bus was rather cool to. I sat on the bus and realised I'm excited.
And cause I was in a good mood I was able to keep up a conversation.

Anyway time to write something decent in my blog for the first time in a while.....
It's not that I want my mum to read it .... it's just that I don't really care cause even if I don't write. It's still in my mind anyway.

I saw her in your eyes,who you've become.
Your own worst nightmare come alive.
I've held your hand too many times to give you compassion's drug.
Your eyes they bleed each time you look.
But I won't say a prayer.
That you don't deserve to have against your name.

Reading it back that ain't nothing of meaning really Oh well!!!
Night
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Guess what I blogged !!!!!!!!

2011-02-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

Rawr!!!!!!!!!
I look like a lion.....silly wind.

Im excited and happy and I feel wired.....but it's good wired.
It's like first ever scoop of ice cream wired
im happy yet part of me wants to get a big stick and hit someone with it..........
it's amazing when someone tells you something and u get a stream of memories like a mad attack of things u thought u'd forgotten.
anyway
have a nice day
XXXXXXXXXX

Vanessa Carlton- A thousand miles

2011-02-04T13:50:00.000-08:00

Making my way downtown

Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

And I, I
Don't want to let you know
I, I
Drown in your memory
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces passed
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass us by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you...

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
If I could
Just hold you
Tonight

2011-02-04T13:26:00.000-08:00

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wide awake, my mistake. So predictable You were fake, I was great. Nothing personal.

2011-01-20T11:38:00.000-08:00

Silver Lining - hurts

There's a storm on the streets, but you still don't go
Watching and waiting for the rain to come.
And these words wouldn't keep you dry
Or wipe tears from an open sky,
But I know, but I know, but I know I'm right.

And I won't let you drown, when the water's pulling you in
I'll keep fighting, I'll keep fighting.
The rain's going to follow you wherever you go.
The clouds go black and the thunder rolls
And I see lightning, and I see lightning.

When the World surrounds you, I'll make it go away
Paint the sky with silver lining.
I will try to save you, cover up the grey
With silver lining.

Now there's no way back from the things you've done
I know it's too late to stop the setting sun.
You see the shadows in the distant light,
And it's never going to be alright
And you know, and you know, and you know I'm right.

And I won't get left behind, when the walls come tumbling in
I'll keep climbing, I'll keep climbing
The rain's going to follow you wherever you go.
The clouds go black and the thunder rolls
And I see lightning, and I see lightning.

When the World surrounds you, I'll make it go away
Paint the sky with silver lining
I will try to save you, cover up the grey
With silver lining. (x2)

Silver, silver, silver, silver, silver, silver lining,
Deep blue sky, deep blue sky.
There's a storm on the streets, but you still don't go
Watching and waiting for the rain to come.
And these words wouldn't keep you dry
Or wipe tears from an open sky,
But I know, but I know, but I know I'm right.

And I won't let you drown, when the water's pulling you in
I'll keep fighting, I'll keep fighting.
The rain's going to follow you wherever you go.
The clouds go black and the thunder rolls
And I see lightning, and I see lightning.

When the World surrounds you, I'll make it go away
Paint the sky with silver lining.
I will try to save you, cover up the grey
With silver lining.

Now there's no way back from the things you've done
I know it's too late to stop the setting sun.
You see the shadows in the distant light,
And it's never going to be alright
And you know, and you know, and you know I'm right.

And I won't get left behind, when the walls come tumbling in
I'll keep climbing, I'll keep climbing
The rain's going to follow you wherever you go.
The clouds go black and the thunder rolls
And I see lightning, and I see lightning.

When the World surrounds you, I'll make it go away
Paint the sky with silver lining
I will try to save you, cover up the grey
With silver lining. (x2)

Silver, silver, silver, silver, silver, silver lining,
Deep blue sky, deep blue sky.

MEDIA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-19T11:01:00.000-08:00

Rawr!!!!

This is what I did in media instead of course work which is what I should of done!

It's Dave the funky shoulder monkey !!!!!! =)

Ain't it cute!!!!

Beast monkey watch out people

It's cause he's cool

I want one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

giggles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do enjoy life sometimes!!!!

2011-01-17T13:50:00.000-08:00

Right Thru Me- Nicki Minaj

[CHORUS:]
You see right through me how do you do that sh*t [3X]
How do you [5X]
You let me win, you let me ride, you let me rock,
you let me slide and when they looking,
you let me hide, defend my honor, protect my pride
The good advice, I always hated but looking back,
it made me greater, you always told me,
forget the haters just get my money, just get my waiter up
Know when I'm lying, know when I'm crying
It's like you got it, down to a science, why am I trying,
Know you ain't dying, I try to fight it, back with defiance,
you make me laugh, you make me hoarse from yelling at you,
and getting at you, picking up dishes, throwing em at you,
why are you speaking when no one asked you.

[CHORUS 2X]

What are we doing, could you see through me,
cause you say Nicki and I say who me?
and you say no you, and I say screw you,
then you start dressing and you start leaving,
and I start crying, and I start screaming,
the heavy breathing, well, what's the reason,
always get the reaction you wanted,
I'm actually fronting, I'm asking you something
YO, answer this question, class is in session,
tired of letting passive aggression, control my mind,
capture my soul, OK, you're right just let it go,
OK you got it, its in the can, before I played it,
you knew my hand, you can turn a free throw to a goal,
Ni**a got the peep hole to my soul

[CHORUS 2X]

Stop!
Stop!
Won't you just stop looking through me 'cause I can't take it, no I can't take it

[CHORUS]

Just surrender -Tell me everything

2011-01-17T09:45:00.000-08:00

A meaning buried

under shuttered breathing
Its taking too long for me to spit it out

Tell me everything will be alright
Close your eyes and dream of me tonight
Tell me that you won't just fade away
Cross my heart and hope to die tonight I'll dream my pain away

I'll let the lack of words speak for me
the way I am I can't express or understand
I'll take the time now to make you see

But baby I'm ashamed of that look in her eyes.

2011-01-16T14:03:00.000-08:00

NOTHING....
thats what I did till today.
But today was awesome... No more tell me's for a while me hopes....................
But what would we do all day!!!
=P
Hahaha

School tomorrow ........ Everybody scream and run they can't catch us all.
XXXXXXXX

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................................Bunny

2011-01-05T11:01:00.000-08:00

I can feel you slipping through my fingers.
Each time you touch my skin it burns.
But you just take away the layers cause whats underneath is easy to hurt.

I'm just your little kiwi fruit chop me up and eat my insides

Whisper to whoever's gonna listen to your song.
You know you got it all wrong.
But your gonna carry on cause you think it's fun to hurt me.

I'm just your little kiwi fruit chop me up and eat my insides

I'm gonna take you or the ride of your life
and at the end your gonna scream and cry.
I've personalised your rollercoster ride.

I'm just your little kiwi fruit chop me up and eat my insides
and I hope that you choke
Cause that would make me feel better.

Eat my insides-hurts

I had to go back to school gutted.
It's really hard to wake up at 6:30 when you got up 9:30 or later for the past 2 and a bit weeks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2010

2010-12-31T10:57:00.000-08:00

I don't have big thank you speeches like everyone else
It's not that you don't deserve one you all do, of course.
But if you know me well enough then you already know what I'm gonna thank you all for.
All I can say is it's New year so even if I have been upset or annoyed with you in 2010 then all I can say is sorry but I still have a Thank you for you even if you don't want one and to be honest everyone I know deserves one, because I have never met someone I haven't learned something from.
So all I can say now is thank you for reading my blog this year and hope you will continue into the next.
bye-bye 2010
I shall see you again only in memories of days once spent
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

2010-12-25T00:02:00.000-08:00

and a BIG happy birthday to Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Merry Christmas

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxx

It's christmas eve!!!!!!

2010-12-24T13:46:00.000-08:00

I am excited and not as ill!!
whoot!!!
Santa's coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY!!!
I have nothing at all to blog cause i did nothing yesterday.
Can't wait for tomorrow
Even if it is just the traditinol type one that we have every year with the annoying family and presents and my taid falling asleep in the chair. IT'S STILL FUN .

I won't be online tomorrow so i shall wish you all a Merry Christmas now!!!!!!!!!

=)

It's christmas eve,eve!!!!!!!!

2010-12-23T06:49:00.000-08:00

and I'm ill which is just rubbish.but I shall live to fight another day.

So I shall tell you about the dream I had the other day, cause people have asked so.... Just keep in mind it's a little wired.

I was going down the high street when i got chased by a black pig so I ran to my nannas house, only there were stairs going down to the house (which aren't there in reality) and I saw my uncles dead body lying at the side of the house in the corner and I knew my nanna had killed him, So I swore and ran to my house and rang the police, Then I went to school and I was on top of some stairs when I heard a load of lad talking about a dead body that had been found, then I ran down the staris towards them and the media teacher was coming up and he was blocking the way , but i knew that my uncles body was down there so I tried to get passed but he would'nt let me... then i woke up.

so thats it in all it's wiredness....

......
anyway merry christmas eve,eve
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

3 SLEEPS TILL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-22T13:59:00.000-08:00

Whoot whoot!!
been shopping with family today
good god it was painful
I now know why I don't do it more often.

Also does anyone know any good websites that are supposed to tell you what you'r dreams mean.
I don't usually do that sort of thing , but I had a really wired dream last night and it freaked me out a bit so I'd really like to know, or at least be given some idea.

4 SLEEPS TILL CHRISTMAS

2010-12-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

Super excited face.

I got my first birthday presant today as well.

tehehe
I like christmas!!!

5 Sleeps till christmas!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

I LOVE christmas.
I'm like a 5 year old again!!!!!!!!
EXCITED

2010-12-10T10:42:00.000-08:00

Explain explain your dreams again.
I know them of by heart.
Make me drink my own poison, I've tasted it before.
But you know that like you know the scars of my past.

To many broken dreams have passed.
Upon my ocean bed.
Sleeps so far from each forged memory.
Each nightmare repeats the regrets.
of each day of each life in motion.

The snow and ice has melted
XXX

Wanna hold you wanna hold you tight!!!!

2010-12-07T11:26:00.000-08:00

Yes I'm a bit paranoid and a bit wired too.
But everybodys got issues that they gotta work through.

So it took a hypocrite to show me I was wrong.
He poured his poison down my mouth and showed me I was to far gone.
And who would listen to his lies over and over again.
Just another hypocrite girl with a twisted sense of friend.

I can see you looking,looking at what you shouldn't be.
Yes I an see you taking that look when you thought nobody could see.
So take nice long look cause it's the only one your gonna get before
I have to crush your neck with one hand behind my back.

Just a little dream in the back of a torn mind.
Turned in to the very thing I want to hold in my hands.
Fold up every corner of this fragile broken soul glue it down and tape it up, like so many have tried before.
But I hope this time you used super glue cause nothing else will hold.
Hope this time you'll have some super glue for both of us to share.

Say it over say it again repeat it repeat it and may be then..
I'll believe you when you say it over and over again.
Repeat...repeat again again again.
I just wanna hear you say it................
Again again once more for today I wanna go to bed with that smile on my face.
Say it again again again.

random quotes!!!!!!!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2010-12-05T13:56:00.001-08:00

Christmas tree is up lights are on Christmas tunes are playing on the TV.....
It's almost Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't lie..........
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Boom Boom Boom

2010-12-03T11:21:00.000-08:00

Katy Perry-Firework

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag

Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in
Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon.

And it's still snowing it's still snowing But I don't get a day off school!

2010-12-01T10:43:00.000-08:00

Oh dear.............. It's cold!!!!!!!!

2010-11-27T13:08:00.000-08:00

Babe today you made me remember what it felt like to have no control.
Need that call,needed to know. Why am I hurting so?
Is it you is it me the repeat of what she told me before is all I can hear resounding like the drum beat,all over again.
I wanted to do no wrong like i did before don't make me fall so far, can't hear my own thoughts anymore.
She told me she loved you. Couldn't help but hold out my hand.
I needed you more than you can ever understand.

Close your eyes so you can't see that little lie that you believe.
and I'll say it all over again but I no you'll believe what you've heard for too long.
I ain't gonna save what doesn't wanna be held by my hand.
You get to choose if your in or out.
I wanna keep you warm on the dark winter night wanna keep you away from their cold hard spite.
In my arms tonight.

She wanted what she had and I took the candy from the baby's hands.
Now she cry's each night and I say I don't care for the look she gives you when she thinks I can't see.
Take a cup of cold tears mixed in with my own damn hard faced fear.
Drink it up dol it will keep you for a thousand years..
Take my blood with my heart so I don't leave a mess on the stone floor.
Don't need anybody to be reminded of me.
The stalker, the wiredo that's always been me.
But your wrapped up in lies you can't even see.
Wish that was me,
Who couldn't see?

Close your eyes so you can't see that little lie that you believe.

and I'll say it all over again but I no you'll believe what you've heard for too long.
I ain't gonna save what doesn't wanna be held by my hand.
You get to choose if your in or out.
I wanna keep you warm on the dark winter night wanna keep you away from their cold hard spite.
In my arms tonight.

I wanna keep you safe if you'll let me.
And if we save you, then there's hope for me.
if I save you then we could save me in the process.
And there is hope

rawr

2010-11-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

So I got a problem
The worlds dragging me down ,and away
scared I could drown .
Keep me floating, just bobbing along on your golden lace smile.
Give me a drink of your laugh and I'm gonna
get the strength to keep you in my arms forever.

Fit ball was awesome.
keep the ball between your legs now roll over it!!! lol

XXXX

2010-11-13T13:13:00.000-08:00

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going to bed with a smile on my face!!!!
Nobody spoil it for me please cause right now i'm on cloud nine!!!
And it is awsome.
praise where it's due thank you Sofiah.
I am really happy nows.

Drink up dol. She needs to taste the truth.

2010-11-11T12:23:00.000-08:00

Went to see Paramore yesterday!!!
It was awsome I had a great time But I am really tired now !!!

rawr

There is no-one online....

2010-11-03T14:44:00.000-07:00

Sad face
= (

Please stop touching my dreams. They are all I have left.

2010-11-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

We had to do a Media thing today.
It was really boring.

What the hell have you done to your wrist!!
What??
That cut straight down the middle of it
Dad........That's henna
What??
Henna tattoo Laura did it.
Ohhhhhh Well that's okay then.

You gotta laugh at him sometimes

XXXXXXXXX

I put my trust in you .
Now it hurts,I guess I should have known better.
I should have known better and now I pay the price.

I'm sorry, That's what I said.
But why should I be.
If I hurt you.
Cause you hurt me.

But I got lost inside.
Inside the lies.
Did everything you try go wrong?
Or was trying just too long.

You can't know.
How you hurt me?
But damn I wish you could see
The damage that you've done too me.

You knew it took a lot to make me trust.
Trust in you.
Now it hurts,I guess I was right and I should have known better.
I was right but now I pay the price.

I wish I could say You lost a friend.
Lost a friend in me.
But you didn't You can still trust in me.
It ain't that much of a two way thing.
I'd never tell a soul what you told me.

Revenge don't seem too sweet.

Now I pay the price.
I should have known better and you made me pay the price.

I was right!

Nock'um'dead-Trust is my price

So what u gonna do!!

2010-11-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

Ooh, when the tears fall away

And there's no conversation
There's nothing left to break
That's not already broken

You're staring into space
And every inch of silence
Been standing here for days
And days

Said it all
Nothing to say at all
Nothing to say that matters
Haven't we heard enough

Said it all
Nothing to say at all
Nothing to say that matters
Doesn't matter, anymore
All of the miles of words we've spoken

All of the lines that got away
Didn't we take the time to say them all?

Take that -said it all

Cause I'm wired like that!!!

2010-11-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

Your blog made me cry??
Why??
I swear I'm going soppy!!

Oasis-Stop crying your heart out

Hold up... hold on... don't be scared

You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile (may your smile) shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

'Cause all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up) come on (come on)
Why you scared? (I'm not scared...)
You'll never change what's been and gone

'Cause all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

'Cause all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
Just take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

We're all of the stars
We're fading away
Just try not to worry, you'll see us someday
Just take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Stop crying your heart out.

So here's your holiday. Enjoy it this time you gave it all away. It was mine!!

2010-10-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

James 1:13
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man.

It's almost Halloween!!!!!
Not that it's my favorite holiday but at least I get to eat the leftover sweets!!!!!!!!

***

2010-10-26T14:07:00.000-07:00

Blind will bleed the blind
When the only thing to see is their lies
Let not the sun go down
On the wrath of this inconvenient truth

Fightstar- floods.

She made you drown in that smile.
If only for a while.
Did you think you could hide,
From the dark inside?
I can cut you down to size.
If you need me again.

Starlight train- A smile will make you cave

Downpour on my soul

Splashing in the ocean, I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
I can't feel my feet touching the ground

Calm the storms that drench my eyes
Dry the streams still flowing
Cast down all the waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me

Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again

Jars of clay- flood

Drinkin what I made again.
It tastes like the darkness.
like your soul.
But sweeter and a damn site more secure.
Hold on to the light but you can't really see.
Whats always right in front.
Of your big brown eyes.

Yes I got caught.
In the floods of your eyes.
But everyone else did to.
Wish I was smarter cause now it's harder too escape.
The floods of your deep chocolate pools.

I need to get out of your ever long gaze before it's too late.
( It was too late the day I let go)

You made me let you in with those big brown eyes.
Stuck in my soul like a sin.

Lairs of sin- Big brown eyes.

Stuff I heard today

Meh

2010-10-26T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I came back off holiday to give you an idea of it all

It rained.

Remember children Jesus loves you.

2010-10-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't really been on blog for a while cause there has been nothing much to report.

Had an AGM on Monday
Which is basically an Assembly where all the parents and different leaders and the kids all turn up Then all 3 scouting groups take part (Beavers,Cubs and Scouts) Then the main Leader tells the parents what goes on in the comity. Then they all go get cake and a cup of tea.
The cake and the tea being the only reason most of the parents turn up.
It was painful
First Jeni gave me he job of doing the register and trying to make the parents pay they're money.
Only most of the parents that needed to pay went out of there way to avoid me and she left me nothing to mark the register and nothing to put the money in once I got it.
and all the parents seem to have a really annoying habit of all turning up at the same time.
Then Jeni started messing around with face paint when we needed to be in the other room for the AGM.
The I got given the job of sorting out which kids get to give Donna flowers (cause Donna left at Christmas due to illness and isn't coming back) But I had to do this while I was reading out my part of the AGM.
The they brought out the cake and biscuits and the room was vibrating it was so loud.
Then Donna tried to talk to me which was just wired and awkward.

And today was school which was really boring and I'm now at the point were I 've stopped taking it all in. I need my holiday and I'm really tired which is just annoying cause by the time I wake up it's half way through the day.
And we had an R.S test today and chances are I have failed.
But I really don't see how it's going to help me.
Then again Welsh poetry seems to be most of the same thoughts.
When in later life am I going to need a poem about a fox or the homeless or a factory closing!

That my people is what is called a rant.

I shall say Goodnight now
XXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXX

2010-10-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

One year
Since your holy land came to pass.
Knew you wouldn't last
But I still hoped anyway.
One year
Do you see me?
Eyes of black
One year
Is nothing but fast.
Tears breed seas and burn through rivers.
The ones left below are never the winners.

One year

It's been a long fortnight.
and a really long week.
and an extremely long day.
I need my holiday soon.

Out of some sentimental gain I wanted you to feel my pain, but it came back return to sender.

2010-10-12T13:03:00.000-07:00

You knew when I was wrong

You knew that I’m deranged
I can see that you’re uneasy and its not gonna change
And no matter how far
Wherever you

Wherever you go I’m callin
Even when you’re breaking my heart
Wherever you go I’m crawlin
Even when we’re falling
Even when we’re falling apart
Yeah looks like were fallin apart

All American rejects-Fallin apart

I've had some really deep conversations today.
Especially with Bronwen which surprised me cause I wasn't expecting it.
and it was nice
Mostly cause she let me tell her a load of stuff but I didn't have to go into detail cause she never made me, and because I told her stuff from months back that ,yes I should have said to the people that had upset/annoyed me at the time. But it was still really awesome.
And cause she told me some of the stuff I wanted to hear even though most of it was a lie.
It didn't matter cause she had tried to make me feel better and it worked.
and while she did all this she still showed me that some of the stuff I'd done was wrong and the immaturity I had shown.

In lighter news
My welsh teacher told tales on my welsh class again Only this time she snitched to the head of our key stage rather than the head of welsh.
So we got 15 minutes of Eleri Lewis going on about the school results.
Wow it was boring.
and ABCH was just funny.
No tutor and a free lesson always good.

Robbie Williams-Eternity

Close your eyes so you don't fear them

They don't need to see you cry
I can't promise I will heal you
But if you want to I will try

I'll sing this somber serenade
The past is done
We've been betrayed
It's true
Someone said the truth will out
I believe without a doubt, in you

You were there for summer dreaming
And you gave me what I need
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity...
For eternity

Yesterday when you were walking
We talked about your mum and dad
What they did that made you happy
What they did that made you sad
We sat and watched the sun go down
Picked a star before we lost the moon
Youth is wasted on the young
Before you know it's come and gone to soon

You were there for summer dreaming
And you gave me what I need
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity...
For eternity

For eternity
I'll sing this somber serenade
The past is done
We've been betrayed
It's true
Youth is wasted on the young
Before you know it's come and gone to soon

You were there for summer dreaming
And you are a friend indeed
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity

You were there for summer dreaming
And you are a friend indeed
And I know you'll find your freedom
Eventually
For eternity
For eternity

rawr

2010-10-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

The first song that came up when I typed in 'songs' on the internet

Kiss the girl-Disneys the little mermaid

Sebastien:(spoken)

Eef you want somet'in done, you gotta do eet yoaself
Percussion,
Strings,
Winds,
Words

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say,
But there's something about her.
And you don't know why,
But you're dying to try
You wanna,
Kiss the girl
Yes, you want her
Look at her you know you do
Possible she wants you too,
there is one way to ask her.
It don't take a word,
Not a single word, go on and
Kiss the Girl (sing wit' me now)

Frogs & Sebastien:
Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look like the boy too shy
He ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad
Ain't it a shame, too bad
You're gonna miss the girl,

(dialogue)
Sebastien:
Now's your moment
(ya ya)
Floating in a blue lagoon
(ya ya ya)
Boy you better do it soon
No time will be better
(ya ya ya ya ya)
She don't say a word
And she won't say a word until you, kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la
Don't be scared
You've got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha la la la la la
Don't stop now
Don't try to hide it how, you wanna
Kiss the girl (woah-woah!)
Sha la la la la la
Float along, and listen to the song
The song say, kiss the girl
Sha la la la la
The music play
Do what the music says
You gotta, kiss the girl

Hang myself again , may be this time I can feel.

2010-10-04T13:51:00.000-07:00

My heads inside the rope again.
I'm eager to fall down.
Brought it all on myself again.
Some things just never change.

I did it again.
I always do it.
Inevitable,karma whatever you want to call it .
Either way I did it again.

That shall be all. Then......
Night
XXXXXXXXXXX

Scars ( David) -trustlights

2010-09-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play.
Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.....

*Guitar*

So David came to me last night.
Said he'd try and make it right.
Played a tune ,that made me weep.
Now I fear I'll never sleep.
Guess David lied.

My scars spell out your name.
Old or new always the same.
The first letter to the last and all those in between.

Blood that falls from the sky.
Tears that hide in your eyes.
All the same he said to me.
Always flowing secretly.

My scars spell out your name.
Old and new always the same.
The first letter to the last and all those in between.

David,David
play your tune.
How do you know what I've been through?
David,David
Sing your song.
You only judge what you know is wrong.

My scars spell your name always the same.
Always the same.
Always the same.

The evil spirit will leave him as it did once before.
But it never really disappeared.
It was there forever more.

Only you can see

2010-09-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

I'm so worried about you and I don't know what to do.
Maybe I need mental help , guess what so do you.
May be I was stupid thinking I could help.
Guess I'm just unwell in the head.
Is this better than being dead?
That's how this all seems.

Can you tell me what I'm supposed to to be.
So I can do the opposite of me.
My feelings will never let me be.

This is that hidden side of me that only you can see.

I only feel what's so unreal .
The light of each and every situation
You lied!
Your not always there for me.
Is this how it's meant to be?
Serves me right for learning to trust.
How stupid can I be?

This is the hidden side of me that only you can see.

Why don't you trust in me.
Like you made me trust in you.

You lied,you lied,you lied,you lied,you lied.
Your not always there for me.
you lied ,you lied ,you lied ,you lied.
You don't trust me.
I cried,I cried,I cry.
You lied, you lied ,you lie.
Your not always there for me.

Falling beyond the point of no return. Nothing to become and nothing left to burn.

2010-09-23T13:04:00.000-07:00

I hadn't looked at my phone since lunch time,until I wrote my last blog.
Not that it matters just thought I'd say.

Gary Numan-one perfect lie

One

One perfect lie

Was it told too soon
And one
one perfect lie
Turned to stone
Cold mercy

I kneel down by your grave
I kneel down torn and guilty

Did I let you down
Say goodbye too soon
And did you understand
My mistake
Forgive me

I kneel down by your side
I kneel down scared and helpless

One perfect lie
Wrapped in kindness and tears
I wish I believed in your Heaven

One perfect lie
Led by blind faith and trust
If God has a heart He will find you

Torn and guilty
Torn and guilty
Torn and guilty
I'm torn and guilty

It's getting dark in here - Elton John

It's getting dark in here

Don't want to leave
Shadow's falling
And I believe
Winds picking up
Thing's so unclear
I'm afraid of my shadow
And it's getting dark in here

I'm scared of strangers
On the street
World's so ugly
I can't breath
Moon's so spooky
I'm close to tears
I've lost it all
And it's getting dark in here

And the wait isn't worth what I'm getting
Sometimes I feel I'm on fire
I've been handed a curse and a blessing
My life's been stripped down to the wire
And I'm trying to get back and hold on
Find someone somewhere who cares
But the sun's always setting on my life
And it's sure getting dark in here

Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here

And the wait isn't worth what I'm getting
Sometimes I feel I'm on fire
I've been handed a curse and a blessing
My life's been stripped down to the wire
And I'm trying to get back and hold on
Find someone somewhere who cares
But the sun's always setting on my life
And it's sure getting dark in here
And the wait isn't worth what I'm getting
Sometimes I feel I'm on fire
I've been handed a curse and a blessing
My life's been stripped down to the wire
And I'm trying to get back and hold on
Find someone somewhere who cares
But the sun's always setting on my life
And it's sure getting dark in here

Yeah, the sun's always setting on my life
And it's sure getting dark in here

+=(

2010-09-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

I hate the way you read my mind,

like you've known me all the time.

I hate that your always right,

No matter what you say.

I hate the way your better than me,

in every single way.

I hate the way you lie,

like I can't see the difference.

I hate the way your not around,

when I need you most.

I hate the way you don't reply,

and that it always makes me cry.

And most of all I hate the way I care about you.

and that I would do anything for you.

No matter what you give me in return.

We're smiling but we're close to tears.

2010-09-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

Saturday was rubbish.
I had a pope party to go to.
20 questions on different popes....I was rubbish at it.
I got 3 out of all of the questions we played.
The only person worse at this game was my dad who got 0 right.
Haha!
If I hear the word pope again I will scream.

Today was wired.
It was nostalgic.
I walked the whole of Coedpoeth cause I didn't feel like going home.

It's strange how powerful memories can be.
How much they can influence what I do now and at the same time how much I never learn from them.
It's sad really but there we go.

Everyone lies.
We've all done it ...
But I feel really bad about this time.
Even though at the time I thought it was okay it didn't seem like that big a lie.
Now I know it was a mistake cause I feel bad.
I'm not sure which is worse...
The fact that I lied about something small that was really wrong.
or the fact that its back fired on me cause now I wish I had told you the truth.

Silly me.
XX
Nights to you all.

Little girl lost,Little girl trust,Little girl feel what you must.

2010-09-16T13:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday me and another girl made a cake in the microwave and it came out like rubber.
It bounced like a ball. It was dead awesome.

Today was school
School is boring.

You broke the bridge.
Let the water through.
Cut the cord between me and you.
I should have seen that coming.
Those sort of things always do.

I wish you had told me trust was such a bitch.
You said I could tell you anything.
But trust is a two way thing.

It always hurts to see you upset.

Now I know the truth ..you just don't talk to me anymore.

2010-09-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

So I went to school.
Then I went home.
Now I'm here soon I shall leave.
so.............
Thats it really.

Nine inch nails -Gave up

Perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most

Forgot how it feels well almost
No one to blame always the same
Open my eyes wake up in flames
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize?
It took you to make me see the light
Smashed up my sanity
Smashed up my integrity
Smashed up what i believed in
Smashed up what's left of me
Smashed up my everything
Smashed up all that was true
Gonna smash myself to pieces
I don't know what else to do
Covered in hope and vaseline
Still cannot fix this broken machine
Watching the hole it used to be mine
Just watching it burn in my steady systematic decline
Of the trust i will betray
Give it to me i throw it away
After everything i've done i hate myself for what i've become
I tried
I gave up
Throw it away

2010-09-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

Evanescence-Imaginary

I linger in the doorway

Of alarm clocks screaming,
monsters calling my name

Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops
As there falling
Tell a story

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

Don't say I'm not in touch
With this rampant chaos
Your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare i built my own world to escape

In my field of paper flowers

And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot stop for the fear of silent lies.
Oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light

In my field of paper flowers

And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

2010-09-12T14:01:00.000-07:00

Cause my mum scremed when Enrique Iglesias came on the tv.
God bless her.

"Hero"

Would you dance
if I asked you to dance?
Would you run
and never look back?
Would you cry
if you saw me cry?
And would you save my soul, tonight?

Would you tremble
if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh?
Oh please tell me this.
Now would you die
for the one you loved?
Hold me in your arms, tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Would you swear
that you'll always be mine?
Or would you lie?
would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Oh, I just want to hold you.
I just want to hold you.
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by your forever.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.
I can kiss away the pain.
And I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.

Mack & Mabel- I Won't Send Roses.

I won't send roses

Or hold the door
I won't remember
Which dress you wore
My heart is too much in control
The lack of romance in my soul
Will turn you grey, kid
So stay away, kid
Forget my shoulder
When you're in need
Forgetting birthdays
Is guaranteed
And should I love you, you would be
The last to know
I won't send roses
And roses suit you so...

My pace is frantic
My temper's cross
With words romantic
I'm at a loss
I'd be the first one to agree
That I'm preoccupied with me
And it's inbred, kid
So keep your head, kid
In me you'll find things
Like guts and nerve
But not the kind of things
That you deserve
And so while there's a fighting chance
Just turn and go
I won't send roses
And roses suit you so.

2010-09-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

Shadow kissed lover.
Empathy of night.
Taken away from the warmth of light.
You need love,as do I.
Sad little boy, hidden from life.
Nothing but a copy of what I've seen before.
Your eyes in the moon light.
Know only whats true.
Your lips so gentle against the folds of a lie.
Scars so deep fall into place.
I've never felt anything like this.

2010-09-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

I love you, more than you know.
You take all my fields and paint them gold.

I come back again

2010-09-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

Feelin so high,
Bitch, let me down.
I won't conform to your rules right now.
Break me and take me.
Do I look like I care?
The fact of the matter is you weren't there.

Discarded
God help me.
For not feeling your pain.
But I'm standing here in the pouring rain.
Can't help but see that I have nothing to gain.
You hit me down.
But I come back again
again
again again

Set me on fire cause I like to feel.
All the endeavors that don't matter to you.
She said she don't love you.
Well may be I don't care.
Let's be honest it weren't going anywhere.

Discarded

God help me.
For not feeling your pain.
But I'm standing here in the pouring rain.
Can't help but see that I have nothing to gain.
You hit me down.
But I come back again
again
again again

Again I try to help you out.
Again I get a kick in the mouth.
Again I try to make believe.
Again you got me on my knees.

A.g.a.i.n A.g.a.i.n
Again!

May be all I wanna help you out.
May be I'm the one it don't matter about.
May be I like small talk.
Again it's always my fault.
Again you push me to the ground.
Again I come back around.

Again bitch Again.
Always again.
Do you think I don't care.
Bet you wish I wasn't there.
I'll just keep coming back.
Again Again Again.
You can't get rid of me.
That easily.
I'll always come back again.
Again again again.

2010-09-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

The past that holds me makes me weep.
While the rest of the world can soundly sleep.

I am alone.
But still not free.
You can't see what you mean to me.
I wish you knew that You need me.
Just as much as I need you.

Fallen Immortal.
Look into his eyes.
See the tears he refuses to cry.
When the day closes in
Feel the fear that radiates from within.
My winged immortal.
Fallen from grace.
Carry me till the day awakes.
As you leave me just know this.
You are the only on I miss.

:-)

2010-09-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

I went to town yesterday.
I bought nothing much, just lunch.
Today I went out with my family cause my mum has to go back to work tomorrow.
Only problem was that when we got home my dad was grumpy cause he was hungry, So I've spent most of tonight trying to not make a noise and stay out of his way as much as possible.
So that's it really.
Well that and my dad used the last of the printer ink on a picture of a motor bike in front of a mountain.
So now I can't get my homework of my laptop.
Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!
and I'm having problems waking up at 8 and on Friday I have to wake up at 6:30 for school.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shiver - Coldplay

2010-08-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

So I look in your direction

But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me
'Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?

But on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waitin' in line, just to see if you care

Oh…
Did you want me to change?
But I'd change for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?

And on and on
From the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side; just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care, if you care

Oh…
Did you want me to change?
Well I'd change for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waitin' for you

Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you, for you
I will always be waiting…

And it's you I see but you don't see me
And it's you I hear so loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me

Cause I like this song!!!!
XXXXX

I'm back !!!!!

2010-08-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

I'm back.......... as you may have guessed.
So my holiday was like any other holiday really.
Only this time I have ABBA stuck in my head and I no the song list to their greatest hits album.
and on Friday my mum took me to see Westlife.
My mum was scary there.

Ohh ye and there where these 3 horses in he field about a mile off my caravan site.
Luna, Patch,and Butters.
Luna and Patch were Butter's mum and dad.
Luna was awsome.

And that's about it really

XXXXXXXXX

'Do you Feel' - The Rocket Summer

I'm thinking about other things I heard about today

All this week and tomorrow
And how these hands can create some better things for bettering
but you see for now I got my own things
I can't help it
I got too many issues I own
So I cannot help I'm afraid, yeah
But keep on preaching, preaching and heal the world
Lip service makes us look great

Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all have our things I guess

I guess my mind wanders off
from time to time
Sometimes I convince myself
that all is fine in the world
It's not mine
Why should I
have to try
to fix things I didn't create or contrive

Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all have so many things

Have the habits
Had you
Has it been for long
Can you feel the souls behind what's going on

Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your own things
Yeah we all have our things

Do you feel
The weight of the world singing sorrow
Or to you is it just not real
Cause you got your things
Yeah we all so many things
And I can't get past these things

Ohhh

2010-08-22T03:16:00.000-07:00

I am going on Holiday for the week. Doubt I will blog while I'm there cause chances are I wont have any signal cause I'm family like holidaying in the middle of no where.
If anyone needs me text me and if you do text me I will reply at some point.

Yesterday I went bowling with my uncle his girlfriend Nikki, my mum, dad and brother.
My uncle will have to come again cause he beat my dad at bowling.
Then we somehow got my dad on the dance mat. Lol!
It was very funny But I couldn't take a picture cause the light was rubbish.=(

My dads gone on his cycling on his push bike for a few miles. So he is going to be really grumpy in the car the whole way to our holiday.

So yes I shall most likely blog on Saturday night or Sunday if not.
Wish me luck!!!!
See ya.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

One of the songs my dad and brother danced to last night.

Goodbye Mr A - The Hoosiers

There’s a hole in your logic,

You who know all the answers, (Oh-oh-oh-oh)
You claim science ain’t magic, (Oo-oo-oo-oo)
And expect me to buy it

Goodbye Mr. A,
You promised you would love us, but you knew too much,
Goodbye Mr. A,
You had all the answers but no human touch,
Your life is subtraction,
Your number is up,
Your love is a fraction,
It’s not adding up.

So busy showing me where I’m wrong,
You forgot to switch your feelings on, (Oh-oh-oh-oh)
So, so superior, are you not,
You love a little bit but you forgot

Goodbye Mr. A,
You promised you would love us, but you knew too much,
Goodbye Mr. A,
You had all the answers but no human touch,
Your life is subtraction,
Your number is up,
Your love is a fraction,
It’s not adding up.

You brought it all back. Each dark thing I've done.

2010-08-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight I held hands with fear.
Kissed the one who pulls the trigger .
You think I'm brave, you say I'm strong.
How I wish you weren't so wrong.

Hold me closer,
sweet surrender.
Help me be what I am not.
I cannot trust like I did before.
Be to me how you said you would be.
I need to move on

Speak the words left unspoken.
I'm shit scared of her.

I'm going on holiday soon
At least it will be quiet.

I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you.
I guess it's too soon.
To tell you all that I want without space in between.
I thought I could tell you what made me who I am.
Guess I still can't let you in.
I'm sorry that I lied to you again.

Coldplay -Talk

Oh brother I can't, I can't get through

I've been trying hard to reach you, cause I don't know what to do
Oh brother I can't believe it's true
I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you

You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or a write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Do something that's never been done

So you don't know were you're going, and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

X

2010-08-18T14:28:00.001-07:00

I just cried at a story......................
Now I feel wired
: (

Nothing left to say, I need you.

2010-08-17T14:08:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that the lyrics of this song Link to ppl so I'm going to make different colours different ppl cause I can.

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

White just applies to lots of ppl though.

Why trust?
Why ask why trust?
cause trust sucks you trust someone. You let them in, you let them know stuff
So they hurt you and tell everyone every single thing you told them.
So then for a while you stop.
Only to start the whole thing again .
So why the hell do we do it again.
Why am I doing it again?
Cause I trust you won' t hurt me.
But why would I trust that in the first place.
cause I'm need someone who knows about my shit and not judge me and it don't matter that your gonna hurt me cause I'm human.

She made me burn and that's not right.
Why'd she do that.

None of this makes sense.

Night
XXXX

Humans are vulnerable because they're capable of being hurt.

2010-08-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

I did sod all today.
Cause I sorted out what I needed too.
I think it worked.
Only time will tell.
Kate said it worked for a very different reason in fact she said it hasn't worked at all.
But I don't care much at this point.
I will later cause I will question myself .
Oh well.

I'm gonna go get Ice cream.

I'm not insane
and I'm not in love.
I just miss you too much.

2010-08-13T14:04:00.000-07:00

And I'm ill again.
Stupid life!!!!!!!!

And my dads come home from work as moody as hell
Bugger!

Tommy Samuels

A million love songs later, and here I am trying to tell you that I care.

2010-08-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

I spent the past 2 days cleaning the Beavers cupboard at the Scout hut. It took forever to clean the damn thing.
We found letters from 1984!!!!!

My minds been going like a train for days.
I can't sit still for more than 5 minutes.
It's really annoying Can't think of anything. Without going back to the start all over again.

But when I got home I thought of something.
Which meant I went back to get the stuff I needed that we don't have at home.
Not saying it will work but it did last time. This needs to be on a bigger scale.
But it will help.
I need it to help me to help him.
Tonights the night I shall except it all.
and tomoz I will go out and sort the other part for the healing.
It should help. I hope it helps.
Anyway...
That's it really
XXX
Ohh
And thanks Hannah you helped me sort out some stuff.

Take that- A million love songs
( I've had it on all day)

Oh yeah

Oh yeah

Put your head against my life
What do you hear?
A million words just trying to make
The love song of the year

Close your eyes but don't forget
What you have heard
A man who's trying to say three words
The words that make me scared

A million love songs later
Here i am trying to tell you that i care
Million love songs later
Here i am here i am
Million love songs later
Here i am

Looking to the future now
This is what i see
A million chances pass me by
A million chances to hold you

Take me back take me back
To where i used to be
And hide away from all my truth
Through the light i see

A million love songs later
And here i am trying to tell you that i care
Million love songs later

Worlds shall touch and live as one. Or they may explode.

2010-08-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

We shall walk together again like the sunlight takes the moon.
The sun of more importance than the moon.
Relays on the only the sun to light it for its job.
The two shall always be together but apart for ever.
But the moon won't ever let the sun go.
Because the moon values the sun to much,is to grateful for it's warm, tender light.
The caring it does not deserve, to do a job it doesn't really need to do.
Therefore the moon always needs the sun;
and I will always need you.

Alone we walk as one.
2005.

Yesterday I had to go to the duck race in Nant Mill to do a stall with my mum.
It was a laugh me and her trying to put up the gazibo!!!!!
It was a long day though cause we got there at 8:30am and didnt leave till 5:00pm.
But god nows how long the ppl from the hog roast had been there cause they were there and had set up all there stall by the time we got there : (
We made 100£ though so we should be okay.

I've got to go and help clean out the Beavers closet.
If I don't come back I'm stuck in Narnia.
Or I'm dead under the crap thats in there.

So yes anyway.
Hope your all having a good life.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I just murdered a Dolphin!!!

2010-08-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

...............................................................................................

: (

An inflatable one!

2010-08-09T03:47:00.000-07:00

My brother won't stop going on about the hammer and pillow fight!
He keeps hitting me on the head with the blow up hammer.
I blame Hannah.

Yet I'm building Lego for him cause he can't do it himself.
LOL!!!!
And the P on my laptop wont work and I have to hit it to get the damn letter.

The killers-Tanqulize

Silently reflection turns my world to stone
patiently correction leaves us all alone.

Gtg anyway Got to go build more Lego stuff!!!

XXXXXXX

Me and Hannah RAWR AT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-07T13:33:00.001-07:00

****

2010-08-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

Hey.
It was my dads birthday yesterday.
He gets worse every year.
Hehe.
I have nothing to blog about so ye.......
Bye!!

XXXXXXX

Soppy,young, romantic fool.
Love and loss has tainted you.
Sleep with the guy if he feeds you a line.
Kiss the girl but your wasting your time.

Roses and violets always die out.
But forgiveness for you are three words, placed right.
Keep going back ,but never ask why?
It never works out cause they'll always lie.

Tell me you love her.
I'd laugh in your face.
Do you know why you do this in the first place?
Say that your burned by shadows of the past.
But we both know why it never lasts.

Coedpoeth gossip.

2010-08-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

Theres been a lot of activity on my street recently.

On Saturday the armed police were walking up and down our street and there were two either end of the street.
Turns out at about lunch they raided on of the houses on our street.
The only problem was he was working in the post office so we told them where he was and they went to the post office and arrested him.
No ones to sure why.
Most are saying drugs.
Anyhow he was out next day.

On Monday the extension on the hose next to us was on fire.
Turns out the guy who owns it had left the chip pan on and fallen asleep.
There was smoke coming out his roof tiles.
After that the fire brigade came and an ambulance.
His extension is gutted and that part of the street smells of smoke.

So with that and the Ecclestons bakery closing which means we lose a big bakery and the shop.

We have had a very interesting week.

=)

Affirmation lyrics-Savage Garden

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

In my dreams you whisper softly. The words you won't say out loud.

2010-08-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

You know how this begun.
You know how this will end.
But until then we can fill in the time.
I'll colour your space,
and you colour mine.

My mums gonna kill my dad soon I can see it coming.
At least the house will be quieter!!

I cleaned my room today, and sorted all my stuff.
So it looks better but it isn't ready yet.

I've got to go out on a family dinner tomoz.
My dads side of the family.
Me and my cousin have decided to go get pissed in the woods behind the place though.
So hopefully it won't be too bad.

So yep thats it really.
Miss you all
I'm fed up with my family.
=(

XXXXXXX

Not much point in this.

2010-07-30T14:31:00.000-07:00

Why am I crying?
I'm really not sure whats wrong with me.
MMMMM
I'm also not sure why I'm blogging either.
Other than to tell you that the ppl I was babysitting for gave me 30£.
I was happy and they told me they had another job for me next week if I wanted it. So more food for me.
I'll be the size of 4 houses by the time I go back to school.

I did nothing today.
So ye nothing to report.
Ummmm....

Sorry that was a really pointless blog.

Gdnight.

It's me!!!!!!!! Well who did you expect.

2010-07-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

I'm babysitting at the moment . They said I could use the Internet and help myself to their TV, and food.
So that's what I'm doing.
The dads a chef and he said I could eat anything in the top of the fridge cause he brings it from his work and his family are sick of it.
His brownies and cakes are to die for. I have eaten way to much. But I don't care cause it's damn good food.
Other than that I've done nothing.
The kids in this house are to well-behaved it's almost unnatural.I'm expecting the house to get set on fire or something cause they are like to good. I know I shouldn't complain. But it's not right. Their in bed and asleep.
It's like ohhh.
This is the easiest job I've done in ages.
HAHA!!!
I don't even care how much they pay me.
XXXXXXX

It's colder in the cupboard.

Ellis's monologue

I can't put it into words how your tears make me hurt.May be my reasons for this are selfish because if you don't hurt I don't hurt. But that's to simple. Even when you don't hurt I worry. These feelings go beyond the normal calls of friendship. Beyond even the normal calls of love. My constant need to be sure that you are not in pain is a compulsion. I have met nobody on this earth who can say they feel as I do. To at least know that another can rely on you is the best feeling I own. It's the only one that makes me believe I have any good left inside my barren misused body, and when you do open up to me for a second I believe I am not the person I have become. That I am as caring and kind as you. I have a purpose and that is to listen and to be aloud to understand ,you. How you live and think and act and just be.
I what you to be happy. Even if that meant you hurting me I'd take it ,If it makes you feel better.
If you being happy meant you never wanting to see me again I'd do it. I'd run and hide and never darken your door again as long as I knew you were happy and safe.
I wish you knew this but if I told you I know what you'd think.What anyone would think.Even if I begged you and told you it was not like that. You wouldn't believe me. So I just won't tell you. I'll say only one thing to you and that is I'm always there for you. No matter what. Even if you never know how true that is, as long as you know I'm here that's all that really matters.

2010-07-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

HIM-Join Me

Baby join me in death

Baby join me in death
Baby join me in death

We are so young
our lives have just begun
but already we´re considering
escape from this world
and we've waited for so long
for this moment to come
were so anxious to be together
together in death

Won´t you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won´t you die
Baby join me in death
Won´t you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

This world is a cruel place
and we´re here only to lose
so before live tears us apart let
death bless me with you

Won´t you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won´t you die
Baby join me in death
Won´t you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

this live ain´t worth living
this live ain´t worth living
this live ain´t worth living
this live ain´t worth living

Won´t you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death
Won´t you die
Baby join me in death
Won´t you die tonight for love
Baby join me in death

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me.

2010-07-26T14:32:00.000-07:00

I finally got Blogger to work for me.
=)
So
On Wednesday my dad came home from his holiday.
He went to Brighton to a gay bar and came home with 3 guys numbers.
I mean 3!
I thought you men had at least some taste.
I mean yes my mum married him.
But that was 21 years ago and at that time my mum wasn't wearing her glasses so you can't really blame her.
Also my dad used to work out at that time and both my mum and dad worked so they didn't see each other much.
3 numbers !!!!
Thats just wrong ppl really really wrong.

On Saturday I when to town with Hannah.
Lol It was really fun .
Psychiatric tales by Darryl Cunningham
Well worth a read in my opinion.
And sitting in the large print section in the library with sweets reading for an hour.
Is a damn good way to avoid the rain.

Sunday was family party
Not much fun I ended up with the choice
Sit in the kitchen with my uncles and my dad while they make homophobic comments and be just generally annoying.
Or sit in the living room while they all talk about me like I'm not there and my nanna insults me.
Neither where a great option so I ended up in the bathroom.
Not the best place in the world but better than the other two places.

So yes other than that I've done nothing else.

Yes boring I know.
One week down
Many more to come!!!

XXXXXXX

Blink 182-Miss you

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare,

The shadow in the background of the moor,
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)